Ang tagal nanaman bago ako nagupdate, kalandian ko talaga!

haha okay walang kinalaman..

hmm.. hindi ko alam kung happy ba ako or hindi eh..

nwala na kami nung guy ko na like ko palang naman pero un..

bottom line is.. nawala na sha..

"pero nawala na ung magic nh?"

that shitty line!

every thing has its own reason..

im waiting for the reason for this one!

Wish

Meron akong wish, pero hindi ko alam kung pang lifetime ba to na ultimate wish or dahil mashado lang akong nacacarried away sa mga eklat ng buhay..

Gusto ko maging volunteer, sa mga depressed areas, like El Salvador, or kahit dito lang sa Pinas.. san ba to nagstart? basta nun sa Psych, may nagtalk samin na nagJesuit Volunteer daw sha tas fulfilling blah blah, tas nasabayan pa to nung Theo class ko, wherein yung binabasa naming mga articles galing ke Jon Sobrina, S.J., na isang Spanish priest advocating relief for the poor in El Salvador. Tapos ngayon, nagbabasa ako ng Veronika Decides To Die ni Paolo Coelho, and there was a woman there, Mari, who wanted to really live life and become a volunteer, parang ganun.

Pero unfortunately, nun tumingin ako sa site ng Jesuit Volunteers, kelangan graduating or college graduate na ako hehe, okay medyo 3rd year palang ako sa pasukan, so matagal tagal pa bago ko maaabot yung dream ko.

Minsan nga naisip ko, ang purpose ko is tumulong sa wish kong to.

Pero really now, sino nga ba ang gusto kong tulungan?

Sila?

Or ako?

Na para naman magkaroon ng meaning ang buhay ko?

Ang Salitang "Okay"

Ano nga ba talaga ang ibig sabihin ng salitang "okay"? Hindi ba pagsang-ayon, pahintulot na maganda ang trabahong nagawa, simpleng oo, at iba pang magaganda at "okay" na mga bagay? Siguro.

Nang sinubukan kong magtapat ng aking pagmamahal sa isang taong hindi higit sa kaibigan ang turing sa akin, isang masaklap na "okay" lamang ang nakuha kong sagot sa kaniya. Walang kalatuy-latoy na "okay", walang emosyon, wala. Bakit ganoon? Akala ko ba magagandang bagay lamang ang ibig sabihin ng salitang "okay"? Sa masamang palad, kailangan ko pa palang mapagdaanan ang isang ganitong sitwasyon upang malaman na hindi pala lahat ng "okay" ay okay nga talaga.

Hindi ko akalain na sa isang salitang iyon ay mararamdaman kong gumuho ang aking mundo at para bang wala na akong nakikitang pag-asang masusuklian ang aking pagmamahal.

Isang "okay" na salita.

Nagdulot ng sanlibong hinanakit.

Haha.. okay.. wala lang to, just got this from somewhere! basta na haha..

May mga bagay talagang sadyang epal..

So into my hell week.

Hehe..

Just wanna share something I got thru text..

12 signs of falling in love:

1. You'll read his message over and over again.

2. You'll walk really really slow when you're with him.

3. You'll feel shy whenever you're with him.

4. While thinking about him, your heart beats faster.

5. By listening to his voice, you'll smile for no reason.

6. While looking at him, you can't see the other people around you.

7. You'll start listening to slow songs.

8. He becomes all you think about.

9. You'll get high just by his smell.

10. You'll realize you're always smiling to yourself when you think about him.

11. You'll do anything for him.

12. While reading this, there was 1 person in your mind the whole time.

Haha i love that 12th sign!!

Mwah!

The One That Got Away.

Ang tagal na ba?

Oo.

1 month plus plus na.

How have you been?

Ako, eto, falling.

Haha.

Parating hilaw yung mga nameemeet kong may potential eh.

There was a guy na parang okay na talaga siya and all tapos bigla nalang shang nagkaka-emotional problems therefore hindi niya ako maentertain or parang he chose not to include me in his little problematic world parang ganun..

Tapos there's this other guy, okay siya super as in, kaso friends lang ba talaga?

Oh well.

Hindi meant to be.

Hindi talaga.

Sheesh. Haha.

Pero masaya naman ako kasi nakakasama ko barkada ko despite the ongoing state of emergency. Eep!

Sana maayos na nh?

Para maging happy lahat hehe.

I learned this from my History 16 class kung saan crush ko ang aking prof? Damn! Hindi, hindi, backspace that last bit. Haha.

"Once upon a time, I, Chuang Chou, dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was Chou. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man. Between a man and a butterfly there is necessarily a distinction. The transition is called the transformation of material things."

Really now.

I dont know if this is all a big long bad dream.

Or not.